A bit too insane

Ring. Ring.

Tyler was confounded to notice his desk phone ringing when he got to his office. Almost no one had the number, and the people who did didn't seem likely to be calling at 9 a.m. on a Monday

"Durden," he answered suspiciously as he picked it up.

"Hello!" The voice on the other end caroled. "Thisssss is a singing telegram for Tyler Durden from Marla Singer!"

"I thought telegrams were in person," Tyler pointed out.

"They normally ah-are, but your island is not where the address said it would be so your wife gave us permission to deliver it over the phone!" the woman sang, clearly improvising a melody as she went along. "The message is, Good morning to you, good morning to you, you're sti-ill an asshole, please caa-all your lawyer." She sounded vaguely embarrassed, and stopped singing when she was done with that catchy number. "I wouldn't normally sing a swear, sir, but her order was very emphatic."

"I'm sure it was," Tyler said dryly. "Thanks."

Hanging up, he closed his eyes and swiveled in his chair before starting work on an email to Marla. Divorce in progress or not, she could at least tell him what fresh hell he was getting into before he made contact with the shark.