Office Hours, Monday, July 28

[tyler_gone]

Ring. Ring.

Tyler was confounded to notice his desk phone ringing when he got to his office. Almost no one had the number, and the people who did didn't seem likely to be calling at 9 a.m. on a Monday

"Durden," he answered suspiciously as he picked it up.

"Hello!" The voice on the other end caroled. "Thisssss is a singing telegram for Tyler Durden from Marla Singer!"

"I thought telegrams were in person," Tyler pointed out.

"They normally ah-are, but your island is not where the address said it would be so your wife gave us permission to deliver it over the phone!" the woman sang, clearly improvising a melody as she went along. "The message is, Good morning to you, good morning to you, you're sti-ill an asshole, please caa-all your lawyer." She sounded vaguely embarrassed, and stopped singing when she was done with that catchy number. "I wouldn't normally sing a swear, sir, but her order was very emphatic."

"I'm sure it was," Tyler said dryly. "Thanks."

Hanging up, he closed his eyes and swiveled in his chair before starting work on an email to Marla. Divorce in progress or not, she could at least tell him what fresh hell he was getting into before he made contact with the shark.

Comments

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River stopped by the door, knocking lightly.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler had been playing with Outlook's thesaurus feature to enrich his vocabulary for the email, but he was easily convinced to look up.

River got a wan smile. "Hey. What's up?"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"There are strange birds around today." It seemed like a nice enough topic of conversation to start with. She entered the room and looked around.

[tyler_gone]

"Yeah?" Tyler asked. "Maybe that's what my housemate was squawking about when I left. I didn't notice them myself."

His eyes followed her glance around the room. There wasn't much to see; Tyler was not exactly one for decorating. His shelves held texts related to his workshops, there was a laptop open on his desk, and his one attempt at brightening the place was a poster ordered from Despair, Inc.

"Are they pretty birds?"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River tilted her head, studying the poster. "Depends on your taste." She smiled. "Am planning to blow up a building."

[tyler_gone]

The email (and Marla) were forgotten for the moment, and Tyler gave River a distinctly curious look. "Need help?"

He supposed, absently, that he should probably ask what building and why.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Your opinion on the plan would be valuable." She turned and crossed the room, placing a small device on Tyler's desk. Pressing a button revealed a holographic three-dimensional model of a highrise building. "Best locations for the damage needed, etcetera."

[tyler_gone]

Tyler shook his head in appreciation at the tech. "Y'know, we still aren't up to these in 2018," he told her, before getting down to the business of scrutinizing the structure. He rotated the device, trying to look at it from every angle, and muttered a few incomprehensible things to himself under his breath.

"What's the area like?" he asked, looking up. "Can you risk the buildings around it, or does it have to be a clean hit?"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Clean," River said, then added: "Reasonably. Explosives have improved too, but the logic should be the same." Her eyes were on the model, her face calm and mask-like.

[tyler_gone]

"Logic hasn't changed since Guy Fawkes was playing around with this stuff," Tyler agreed, then rummaged for a scrap of paper.

He started to sketch. "Okay. What you wanna do is take out the core and let the walls collapse inward, right? And I think if you put charges here, here and a bigger one here that should do most of it."

Looking up, he asked, "Wait. Are building materials the same, or are they gonna be stronger?" He realized as he spoke that he had assumed from the start that this was in River's home.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

It was, of course, not that she had mentioned it. "Improved steel alloys," she told him, "but the difference is marginal." She pointed at the central elevator shaft. "Holds it together." She let her finger wander. "Emergency exits here. Independently supported in case of fire." There was a smile appearing on her lips now, enjoying the planning.

[tyler_gone]

"Then we need separate charges for the emergency exits," Tyler decided, adding them to the plans. "Small ones, so it doesn't risk the surroundings. And power this one up, so it'll climb the shaft."

He looked up, chewing on his pen. "How is your team getting in and out?" he asked. "Is there an underground garage?"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Main vent shaft," River said, pointing. It was clear that the route required people to be small and agile. "And just me going in." There was a small giggle. "Vehicle entry on the roof."

[tyler_gone]

Tyler gave her a look of respect mingled with concern. A solo mission was often a suicide mission, and he knew River knew that.

All he said, though, was, "Then we need to adjust the types of bombs in a couple places, so you can carry everything in that way. Could you make a second trip?"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

His reaction got a small, weary smile in reply, but then River quickly returned to the important matter. She gave a nod. "I could. As long as they don't suspect me."

[tyler_gone]

"I'm gonna assume you're waaaaay ahead of me on how to go unnoticed," Tyler told her. His eyes hesitated on her, curious, for a moment before he returned to his work with a palpable quiet happiness -- not happiness she was doing this, but happiness he could help.

"Okay, so the way I see it, you probably want two trips. First one, you plant small explosives along this line." He traced the path with a fingertip. "Second trip, all you bring is the heavy artillery. Put 'em down, detonate and " - he looked up - "boom."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

He got a wide grin in reply. "Boom." Yes, it was a good feeling, making plans of destruction together, and it made River happy too. There were no need for notes, of course; once heard his suggestions were memorized. "Collapse and die."

[tyler_gone]

She might not need notes, but he did; he neatly printed the formulations of the explosives he recommended on the sheet of paper and slid it across the desk for her to take if she wanted.

"You aren't planning on going with it, are you?" he had to ask, swallowing. River was a high price to pay, even if she was saving the world.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"No unnecessary causalties." No, she wasn't planning to, but then plans could be unpredictable. She picked up the sheet, folded it neatly and slipped it into her pocket. "How long will you stay?"

[tyler_gone]

"Hey, if it's you, it's an unnecessary casualty by definition," he said quietly -- the closest he would let himself come to lecturing.

Her question startled him, and he spun away in his chair slightly. "I don't know. I thought I could just stay the summer and take a break from real life," he confessed. "But turns out I really like teaching, and I love this crazy place. I might re-up for the fall and see how I feel in January."

"You have to go in a few weeks, don't you?" He sounded almost shy.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

His concern made her smile and she let out a giggle, but at the question she turned serious. "My time here is coming to an end." There was sadness in her voice, and she paused.

Then, hesitating slightly, she asked: "Have you ever flown a spaceship?"

[tyler_gone]

Tyler's eyebrows shot up, and he said, apologetically, "I can drive a car. That's about as advanced as I get."

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"I have a spaceship. I can fly it." He had helped her when she asked him and been happy to do so. This was the only thing she could think of offering in return.

[tyler_gone]

Somehow, Tyler still spoke River at a near-fluent level, and he detected the offer in her tone. "Were you thinking about maybe showing me?" he asked, trying not to sound too eager.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

She smiled. "If you like. It was built by squirrels. I keep it in the junk yard." Of course, hiding emotions in his voice was of little use around River. It made her happy that he liked the offer though, and she appreciated that there was no need for complicated explanations.

[tyler_gone]

"Squirrels don't strike me as the best engineers," Tyler said skeptically. "Especially the ones here that drink rum all the time. You've been up in it and it's safe and everything?"

It was not a no.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

"Safe," she said firmly. "And I'm a good pilot." The tone in her voice made it clear questioning that might not be a good idea.

[tyler_gone]

"I was questioning the squirrels, not you," Tyler pointed out.

Then, with a smile: "Sure. I would really like that. I teach Friday and I'm here Monday, but any other day works except probably not the weekend because I don't think our availability lines up at all, plus I'll be 5 this time. What's your schedule like?"

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

The smile was returned. "Work at the hotel Fridays, TA for Kerrigan on Tuesdays. Otherwise, nothing. Just call me when we can coordinate availability."

[tyler_gone]

"I'll do that," he promised. "And good luck with your ..." he gestured to the device. "Project. Let me know how it goes." If she could.

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

Another smile. "Thank you," River said quietly, turning off the holographic model and slipping the device back into her pocket. She turned, heading for the door.