Beach in Oamaru, NZ, Friday Morning

[tyler_gone]

Okay, so they hadn't quite managed to see the penguins yesterday. They were going to make up for it today.

Tyler was quite possibly inappropriately excited by the possibility as he crouched behind a rock, mesmerized by the tiny blue penguins frolicking just feet away.

"Now this is cool."

Comments

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

That was just wonderful for him. Tony, on the other hand, had penguin shit on his shoes.

And was chilly.

And hungry.

Oh, he could go on with complaining, just give him a moment to formulate it all into one scathing rant about penguins.

"You're a strange man."

[tyler_gone]

"You noticed," Tyler said. He was in a good mood, cold and penguin shit or not, and Tony was not going to run it. "Check it, out, that one's got a fish as big as he is."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Peering over toward where he was pointing, Tony raised an eyebrow, is if trying to make the penguin answer for this. "How is he going to eat that?"

[tyler_gone]

"You got me," Tyler admitted. "God, this is like live-action Animal Planet. We just need a killer whale."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"If you start eating raw fish and talking with a British accent, I'm leaving you here," Tony said dryly.

[tyler_gone]

"You're more the sushi demographic than I am, guv'nor," Tyler said, in a British accent that might have even been intentionally horrible.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Well, at least you're not drinking your own urine." And really, wasn't that all you could ask of anyone?

[tyler_gone]

"You know, urine's supposed to be sterile," Tyler said, terribly serious (and dropping the accent). "Gross, but sterile."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

...ew. "Are you saying you would?"

[tyler_gone]

"Are we talking about a survival situation, or recreationally?" Tyler asked to clarify.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Either, I suppose."

[tyler_gone]

"Then yes and no," Tyler decided. "I've swallowed enough blood. Pee can't be that much worse. But I'm still not doing it for fun."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"You make it sound like you're a vampire," Tony said, watching one of the small flightless fowl skitter about after another one.

[tyler_gone]

"Do I? I probably do," Tyler admitted, with a sideways look at Tony. "Fighting. You find these things out if you get hit in the mouth often enough."

His attention was promptly back on the penguin, especially the small one still struggling with the larger fish.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I, luckily, wouldn't know much about that." Though, maybe he should now. "Are you still up for trying to teach me how to fight?"

[tyler_gone]

Tyler raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, if you don't need me to go easy on you, excepting the chest thing."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Except for the chest thing," Tony confirmed. "Though maybe I should come up with a better way to protect it. I doubt people trying to kill me would kindly ignore my heart."

[tyler_gone]

"Not unless you got really wussy assassins." Tyler considered it, then offered, "Kevlar cover? If it can bounce back a bullet, it could bounce back a fist."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony nodded, focusing on the penguins. "Kevlar isn't quite as strong as you'd hope."

[tyler_gone]

"No?" Now Tyler was curious. "How strong is it?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Not enough to stop shrapnel," He replied, like he was giving the time. "Are those penguins mating?"

[tyler_gone]

To his credit, Tyler got it, winced, and went along with the change of subject. "Either that or trying to lambada," he said. "Classy birds."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"At least they're not crapping right now," Tony remarked cheerfully. He was such a happy person.

[tyler_gone]

"No," Tyler acknowledged. "It looks like we found their latrine, though. Smells kinda bad."

He liked penguins. He wasn't an idiot.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I suppose this is a bad time to suggest we get lunch?" Tony asked, flashing him a quick grin.

[tyler_gone]

"Not sushi?" Tyler suggested, matching the grin. "Give me ten more minutes then yeah, we can go. When were we heading home?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"When you want to go," Tony replied easily, trying to find a rock that wasn't covered in crap to sit on. "We do have a private jet, after all. They go when we want to go."

[tyler_gone]

"I'm not going to get used to that," Tyler warned. "Then later today, first thing tomorrow, to give me time to sleep off the jet lag."

"He watched the waves for a moment. "I just hope the island's normal enough this weekend that I don't regret that choice."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony snorted. "Don't you think it would give us at least one weekend to recover?"

[tyler_gone]

"You expect too much," Tyler said sadly.

A penguin turned and glared, as if dismayed by the slander on the island. Possibly it just didn't like people.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Most likely the latter. It was an angry lil' penguin.

"Then tell me what will happen next," Tony replied. "Since you're the veteran after all..."

[tyler_gone]

"Let's see, people we can't strand attack, men are women, our lives become ridiculously melodramatic for a weekend," Tyler recounted, ticking it off on his fingers. "We're due for a good invasion of something not human. I'm going to say evil sentient plants."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I'll get to work on a weed wacker for the suit."

[tyler_gone]

"And I could probably come up with a decent pesticide."

Tyler gave the glaring penguin a wary look. "Okay, I say we go get lunch before that one decides to attack."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"It's so sexy when you talk science," Tony said dryly.

[tyler_gone]

"You know I do it just to turn you on," Tyler said, with the faintest of smiles as he rose and brushed something he was hoping wasn't penguin shit off the leg of his pants.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

It probably was. "So... Sushi?"

[tyler_gone]

Tyler preferred to live in a state of blissful ignorance. "Sure," he said. "I might go for the tempura, though."

Watching the penguins eat raw fish had made Tyler a little less interested in doing the same, spirit animal or not.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony gave him a sad look. "Fine, fine... I'm sure we can get you something cooked."

[tyler_gone]

Tyler looked sad right back. "Good. I like things cooked."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"And some new clothing," Tony added. "Penguin crap isn't the latest fashion trend to my knowledge."

[tyler_gone]

"I was trying to pretend it wasn't --" Tyler sighed, looking at his pants. "First we change, then we eat?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"And maybe a shower."

[tyler_gone]

"I wouldn't say no to that." Tyler had given a last look at the penguins and was heading along the beach, back to the car.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Maybe the spa?" There was nothing wrong with a man going to the spa. At all. Especially not with a friend.

[tyler_gone]

"Steam room?" Tyler mused.

Because that was completely manly.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I think that could be arranged."