Apartment Above Stark Industries, Wednesday Night

[tyler_gone]

Outside, it was freezing and the snow was still blowing around like it would never be warm again.

Inside, it was warm, there was coffee, and Tyler was trolling survivalist forums on his laptop. Randomly insulting people hadn't lost its thrill.

"Will anyone deliver in this?" he asked Tony, not looking up.

Comments

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony looked up from his barren fridge. He really needed to remember to do that whole... shopping. Thing.

Or get Jarvis to have people deliver it.

"If they get a large enough tip, I don't see why not."

[tyler_gone]

"Tips solve many problems," Tyler agreed, and laughed to himself as he gave some intentionally wrong and possibly dangerous advice about preserving dried beans. "Mexican?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"As long as it's not frozen." Sadly, there was no joke about the weather in there. "Are you still messing with people?"

Not that he didn't approve of it, mind.

[tyler_gone]

"I can handle tipping for not-frozen things," Tyler said, clicking over to the Mexican restaurant website to place a way-too-large order that would feed them for a few days. "And only stupid people. They think God likes them better if they buy iodine tablets."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Mention stocking up on double A batteries," Tony said, going for the phone.

[tyler_gone]

"Why double As?" Tyler asked absently.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Because they're useless if you need power for anything beyond a flashlight." A car batter is so much better, right Tony?

[tyler_gone]

It took Tyler a nanosecond, but: "Good point," he said, and resumed typing away.

The computer bleeped at him. "Somebody's spotted me as a troll already."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony snorted. "Create a new account." Oh yeah. He was an old hat at doing this sort of thing.

[tyler_gone]

"And see how long it takes them to start playing match-the-IP-address?" Tyler asked, and snorted. "I'll make more typos this time."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Oh please, working around the IP address is child's play." They had a very special relationship. "Just ask Jarvis kindly."

[tyler_gone]

"Do you ever feel weird about talking into thin air?" Tyler groused, but then raised his voice. "Jarvis, please scramble my IP address on this connection for a couple hours. Thank you."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Of course, sir," came the unseen voice.

Tony just shot him a confused look. "Why would I?"

[tyler_gone]

Tyler gave him an equally quizzical look. "Because you're talking to a computer system and it runs your whole house," he said. "I'm a simple guy, Tony."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"And I built the computer system," Tony pointed out.

[tyler_gone]

"So for you it's like talking to yourself," Tyler theorized.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Jarvis has evolved since then." Just don't let Steve know that. He'd bring pitchforks and torches.

Weirdo.

[tyler_gone]

"Well, yeah, but the basic idea is still..." Tyler let himself trail off as he poked at the computer. "How many people do you think will argue with me if I say this disproves global warming?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"In that forum?" Tony thought about the odds. "I'd say it's more likely they agree. Add something about an angry god."

[tyler_gone]

"I'm changing my username to GoodChristian10," Tyler informed him, and he did just that before going back to typing out his screed.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

That earned him a a pleased kiss on the neck as Tony came up behind him to look. "Spell it with zeroes instead of o's."

[tyler_gone]

And the username became G00dKristian10 as Tyler gave a pleased squirm. "Much more realistic," he said judiciously. "Hey, after I'm done with this, wanna see if you're on ONTD this week?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I only show up on that when my stocks take a hit." So, yes. Yes he would.

[tyler_gone]

"How are they doing these days?" Tyler asked, scooting over to encourage Tony to sit next to him.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Which Tony promptly did, stretching out like he owned the place. Because he did. "It's been better," He admitted.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler rested his hand on Tony's stomach and traced tiny circles. "Do you know what you're going to do?"

He didn't care, in particular, except in that Tony cared.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony shot him a faintly amused look before returning the focus back to the computer. "There are always highs and lows in the market. Pepper's doing a good job with it, though."

Which he wouldn't tell her unless forced into it.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler shrugged, looking equally amused. "She's a smart woman."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Yes, well. That's why I hired her," Tony blustered. Though the 6 inch heels might have helped her chances.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler snorted, finally looking away from the screen to find Tony's eyes.

"And it wasn't at all 'cause she's hot?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"You think I'd be so shallow"?

Yes, Tony was having trouble saying that with a straight face.

[tyler_gone]

"You used to order dates based on how they looked on the cover of Maxim."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"How else would I pick them?" Tony asked with a bright grin.

[tyler_gone]

"You could look for the girls who show up at support group meetings for diseases you don't have."

Hey, it worked for Tyler. Oh, wait, it didn't.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"...say that again?"

[tyler_gone]

"... Marla stuff. You don't want to know."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Uh-huh." Tony was just going to ignore it forever. It was healthy, right? "Remind me to never let you pick where to meet women."