tyler_gone: ([AU] baby in sunglasses)
[personal profile] tyler_gone
It wasn't anything new for baby Tyler to wake up in his car seat in a strange place, and this strange place wasn't all that bad. It smelled okay. There were all kinds of interesting things to look at on the floor. A man lay in the bed making funny noises.

He wasn't sure where Mommy was, though. She wasn't in bed next to the man making the funny noises the way she usually was. That unsettled him, but not too badly. Mommy always turned up.

He relaxed, wet his diaper, and sucked on a few fingers as he watched shadows play against the walls.

Eventually, he realized he was hungry. He whimpered a few times, and when Mommy didn't come, he let out a full-blown -

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."



Tony Stark Sherlock Fucking Holmes
Which was what finally pulled Holmes out of whatever stupor he was in. The noise had him sitting up in a bed that was not his own--point one--and over at a baby that was also not his own.

Point two.

Points three through twenty came in rapid succession as to what was in the room and wherever he might be. Someone named Tony Stark who was a bit of a tinkerer. And--curiouser and curiouser--another man. But where this pair went was the real mystery.

Oh, and the baby was still crying. "Shhh," He said in his most paternal voice.

Baby Tyler Durden
The baby gaped at the strange man -- no, definitely not anybody Mommy had ever brought home before -- in wide-eyed innocent wonder for a second, then went back to crying.

He was hungry and wet and wanted out of the car seat. Couldn't somebody do something?

Holmes
That hadn't worked as planned. Holmes collected himself and tried for a second option.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, scrutinizing the child to find the answer. "Where is your mother?"

This would be so much easier if the child could walk and had evidence on his boots.

Not Carlos
Tyler's mother was probably giving a lapdance to an orthopedic surgeon right about now. But he was hungry. He stopped crying and gave Holmes a hopeful look to say yes.

The great detective might notice a plastic shopping bag by the door, with a packet of diapers, formula, bottles and baby food tucked inside. Almost as if someone knew this might happen...

Holmes
Which would make this not an accidental incident, but something planned and therefore more nefarious than previously suspected.

"Come along," Holmes said, fiddling with the odd contraption the child had been placed in before picking him and it up. "We'll find your mother and who left us here."

Ah, work. Always a pleasure.

Tyler
Tyler made a soft snickering noise of relative contentment and brought fingers back to his mouth to suck on. He was still hungry, but being picked up usually meant somebody was going to feed you and change your diaper sooner or later. And once that happened, he'd be fine for ... an hour. Maybe two.

The man might even be taking him where Mommy was. That would be nice.

Holmes
"Perhaps we'll start with the local constabulary?" Holmes suggested, glancing down at the child as he picked up what appeared to be the bag of supplies. Then promptly frowned. "Why am I telling you this?"

Baby!
Tyler didn't know. He also didn't know the word constabulary, since he'd spent his brief life around the kind of people who called police the pigs or worse.

He burbled, trying to look cute in hopes it would remind the man to feed him sometime soon. That ... was likely to be his concern for the forseeable future.

Detective!
Holmes spared him one last look as if to say he was onto him and headed for the door.

They were just so very lucky that most of the technology was so far beyond what he was accustomed to that he couldn't even begin to figure them out.

...okay, he could begin to, but it was in the infant stage of thought.


[OOC: Preplayed with the shiny [livejournal.com profile] not_ironmaiden. NFI. Tyler is the baby from The Hangover, Tony is Sherlock Holmes himself.]
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Tyler Durden

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